Checking in

A blog is kind of like a sick family member whom you feel obliged to check in with every now and then just out of filial obligation. I'm not even sure if anyone looks at it anymore. In any case, I hope you're okay, blog. I brought you some flowers. I'll stand with my legs parted, swaying back and forth, and make conversation for a little bit. I don't want to give you the impression I'm in a hurry to leave.
      We've just returned from a little junket, attached to a Fulbright meeting in Bangkok, where they assembled all the scholars and students from Southeast Asia for a conference about People-to-People contacts regarding Southeast Asia and America. I learned about water treatment in Cambodia and Jakarta, about Vietnamese film, about teacher training in Cambodia, Arabic use in Indonesia. I was stimulated, and bored, by scholars from places all over Southeast Asia. Mostly, it was in Bangkok, paid for by the American taxpayer, who was in this wonderfully generous, though please don't tell Sarah Palin.
    The conference coincided with Spring break here (I use the word Spring out of old ethnocentric habit, by which I associate school holidays in March with the Northern hemisphere concept of Spring, which is essentially meaningless here). We went to Singapore, Phuket (Thailand), Bangkok, and an overnight in Kuala Lampur, Malaysia, returning today. Here is a random list of what I learned:

• It's not very hard to get caned in Singapore. (None of my family were caned, not even by me.)
• Singapore is a very clean city. (See above.)
• You can spend $155,000 on a Mont Blanc pen (but bear in mind that this is Singapore $, so it's only about $130,000 American). I bought several for my really good friends who comment on the blog.
• Laura really wishes she could ride roller coasters, but she cannot. 
• It's easy to find a sexy Thai girlfriend if you are a 60 year old European man. Phuket was lousy with these couples.
• Russians love Phuket. (See above.)
• Being upgraded is great, especially into the fanciest suite at one of the luxury hotels in Bangkok.
• Southeast Asia has a traffic problem, but it is strong on food and fancy golden ornaments.
• Breakfast is sometimes the best part of the day, even a really really good day.
• Power point is a miserable addition to the academic community, but one person I liked had his Power Point presentation timed, so that every slide only lasted 20 seconds, and it made the medium ok. 
• Plenary speeches are like aural chloroform.
• Air Asia is cheap, but they make up for it by their extra charges, even though we managed to sneak on overweight luggage on four out of five flights.
• Always make the cabbie turn on the meter.
• Thai food really is just goddamn incredible and I could eat it forever without getting tired of it. I cannot say this of Indonesian cuisine, sadly, though I do like it.
• I wandered around a giant Bangkok street protest for about two hours on Saturday, where I learned that the Thai government has some persecution issues, and I bought some delicious food, and a bright red protest hat. Truth today!
• I could never in 500 years learn how to speak Thai, a language in which the word "mai" has five different meanings, depending on the intonation of the "ai" part.
• One must be careful about where one wanders with one's 14 year old son late at night in Bangkok.
• You should never book a 7:15 AM flight out of the Bangkok airport.

I learned some other stuff, but I have to run. I'm glad you're feeling better. I'll try to stop by later this week.